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	<title>Gika Rector &#187; blessings</title>
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		<title>Pain and Grace</title>
		<link>http://www.gikarector.com/pain-and-grace/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gikarector.com/pain-and-grace/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Jan 2010 17:30:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Gika</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Reflection]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blessings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friendship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gratitude]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pain]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[She was fun, totally fun. Life was an adventure, a joy, something to relish with friends and loved ones. Until it wasn’t. Until it all came crashing in and it was too <p class="more-link"><a href="http://www.gikarector.com/pain-and-grace/">&#8230;more</a></p>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span class="lead-in">I’ve known her for a really long time, but I don’t remember our first meeting.</span> I&nbsp;do remember our first road trip. I drove and she told me stories the whole way—there and back. I was totally engaged, listening and laughing and wondering which parts of the stories I should actually&nbsp;believe.</p>
<div width="275" align="right" style="text-align: right; border: none; float: right; margin: 10px -120px 10px 25px; padding: 0px"><img src="http://www.gikarector.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Pain-and-grace-photo-by-Gika-Rector-300x199.jpg" alt="Menil Magnolia" title="Menil Magnolia" width="275" /><br /><span style="display: block; line-height: 11px; font-size: 80%; text-transform: uppercase"><em>Menil Magnolia</em>, salt print on silk<br />by Gika Rector</span></div>
<p>She was fun, totally fun. Life was an adventure, a joy, something to relish with friends and loved ones. Until it wasn’t. Until it all came crashing in and it was too&nbsp;much.</p>
<p>I’m smart, and I’m interested, and I’m curious. But it still took me a while to notice the pattern of her life. Happy, lively, engaged, generous and fun, crashing and burning. Dark and stormy. Tears. How to keep going? Too much&nbsp;pain.</p>
<p>Once, I kept her going, when she had decided to end it. It took her a long time to forgive me.<span id="more-408"></span> What’s the most loving thing to do for someone in pain? Simpler to say than do: be with them, love them unconditionally, let them be as they&nbsp;are.</p>
<p>Eventually her heart was breaking physically and surgeons cracked open her chest to make the repair. More pain, more healing, some lighter moments, more pain, more&nbsp;healing.</p>
<p>Years later, a mystery and a miracle. A strange accident, a silent heart attack. The miracle: her body had created new arteries, bypassing the surgeons’&nbsp;bypass.</p>
<p>More recently: new choices, new opportunities, a glimpse of light, rediscovery of self and friends. Not easy, not without pain, but with glimpses of&nbsp;grace.</p>
<p>So much can happen, given just a touch of&nbsp;grace.</p>
<p>Blessings on all who suffer and go on, who wonder what it’s all about and go on, who think it might not be worth it and still go&nbsp;on.</p>
<p>With gratitude for&nbsp;blessings.</p>
<p>With gratitude for&nbsp;grace.</p>
<p>With gratitude for&nbsp;life.</p>
<p>With gratitude for&nbsp;friends.</p>
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